Skip to main content

What matters most is how well you walk through the fire

Does anybody have a particular time of the year when a major change in your life tends to happen? For me, they tend to happen in the mid-summer or early fall.

Four years ago this month, I was informed by my roommate that a friend of his was moving into our place -- implying that I had to move out. Scrambling, I found a nice and inexpensive apartment in north Dallas and have lived in the town ever since. Almost three years ago, I felt like my relationship with one band had ended and I would find myself let go from the band just a couple of months later. Almost two years ago, as I was moving into the place I live in now, I had to leave one of the companies I worked for. I couldn't put this change off any longer and when my other job offered me a full-time job, I bolted. And this all happened as I was moving in August with no fear that this was the right move for me. So why am I bringing this up now? Well, this feeling has come back.

I'm not moving to a new place to live, but I'm ready to find a new job sooner rather than later. Where this job is has yet to be determined. I know people tell you that the ideal situation is to find a job while you already have a job, but this change can't keep getting put off. Finding any job is a job in itself and I'm tired of making excuses for myself. As I've said before, mud may be easy to be in because it's familiar, but it's still mud.

I think feeling afraid of making a change is a natural thing, but a major part of having courage is doing something without knowing what the full outcome will be. That's just the experience of life in itself, so why do people stay at bay with opposing voices in their head and muddy familiarity? The outcome of change is infinite, but people (including myself) tend to think that a negative outcome is more likely than a positive one. Well, I have to remind myself that the chances of a positive outcome are about as equal to a negative one, so I have to choose which perspective to think in.

These kinds of changes in life are not some spur-of-the-moment kinds of deals for me. A lot of thinking goes into why I think such change needs to occur, but that comes with a number of excuses too. When the options to stay have run out, then I think that's when I should move on. Sounds incredibly cut and dry right? Well, living through this is not.

In all of the previous bands I've been in, this feeling has always happened. A fact I tend to overlook is that every band I joined afterwards was a better situation and experience for me. My first couple of bands were just friends who came over to screw around on their instruments, but then I played in a band that wrote real songs and played shows. In college, after I had joined a band that let me go two weeks after I joined, I helped start what would become the 11:30s, a band that really forged the template of what kind of band I like to be in. From the 11:30s came Voigt and after Voigt came my current band, Ashburne Glen. Whenever we play together (whether it's in the practice room or onstage), I feel really happy and have a lot of fun, but I don't think I would be able to appreciate this had I not been in bands before. I think this kind of experience can translate into many other aspects of life (whether in a personal relationship, a job, and so on).

So, the motivation is there mentally, but action is probably the single most important way to make something happen. Don't let the commercials and banner ads fool you, online job listings are probably not the best ways to find something. I think applying a lot of the skills I've learned with doing this book are really finally kicking into gear in other aspects of my life. There were people that I thought I could never reach, but given some time and persistence, I got ahold of most of them. Maybe that explains why I feel so invigorated whenever I do an interview . . .

The point is this, you can lay in misery with what is handed to you. Be it bland Top 40 pop, cookie-cutter star vehicles, shallow game shows/soap operas with "reality" in their description or TV networks with one hour of news and 23 hours of speculation; that's easy. For some, they aren't fine with whatever washes ashore. They have to find what they want, but that takes their own will and desire to do such.

Comments

Anonymous said…
agreed. i've persevered through various situations, be it writing partners who decided to write w/the man upstairs, not that there's anything wrong w/that. or careerists, women, dope, indifference etcetera... but since i formed strident zend a couple of years ago, for some reason, the other shoe fell, finally. this outfit is more of a feast of friends than anything else. if anyone cares to check out the new stuff, it can be currently be had over at texas gigs.
i was'nt conscious of theme park before, but i must say its rather enjoyable. keep up the good fight.

Popular posts from this blog

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Catherine Wheel

Originally posted: Tuesday, August 29th, 2006 Despite managing to release five proper albums, Catherine Wheel was one of those bands that always seemed to slip past the mainstream rock crowd. Yes, they got some nice airplay in their day, but people seem to have forgotten about them. You may hear “Black Metallic” or “Waydown” on a “classic alternative” show on Sirius or XM or maybe even on terrestrial radio, but that’s about it. For me, they were one of most consistent rock bands of the ’90s, meandering through shoegazer, hard rock, space rock and pop rock, all while eluding mainstream pigeonholing. Led by the smooth, warm pipes of vocalist/guitarist Rob Dickinson (cousin of Iron Maiden’s Bruce Dickinson), Catherine Wheel featured Brian Futter on lead guitar, Dave Hawes on bass and Neil Sims on drums. They weren’t a pretty-boy guitar band, but they weren’t a scuzzy bunch of ragamuffins either. Though the band hailed from England, Catherine Wheel found itself more welcome on American air

Best of 2021

  Last year, my attention span was not wide enough to listen to a lot of LPs from start to finish. Too much went on in 2020 to focus on 10-15 albums, so I went with only a couple to spotlight. Well, 2021 was a little better, as I have a list of top four records, and a lot of individual tracks.  (I made a lengthy Spotify playlist ) So, without further ado, here’s my list of favorites of the year: Albums Deafheaven, Infinite Granite (listen) Hands down, my favorite album of the year. I was not sure where Deafheaven would go after another record that brought My Bloody Valentine and death metal fans together, but they beautifully rebooted their sound on Infinite Granite. The divisive goblin vocals are vastly pared-down here, as are the blast beats. Sounding more inspired by Slowdive, the band has discovered a new sonic palette that I hope they explore more of in the future. It’s a welcome revelation. I still love their older material, but this has renewed my love of what these guys do.  J

Hello, Control

I'm still a big fan of iTunes . I haven't tried Napster , Urge or eMusic as I've been perfectly happy with Apple's program ever since I downloaded it two years ago. However, an annoying new feature has come up with its latest version, 7.0. Whenever you pull up your music library, a sidebar taking up 3/4ths of the screen appears plugging the iTunes Music Store. Why is this an annoyance? Well, first and foremost, since you can't close the sidebar, you can't escape it. I believe a music library is a private collection, a spot away from the music store. So what's the need for constant advertisements and plugs? To provide a better visual, let me describe what I see whenever I pull up a song in my iTunes library. When I listen to "This is a Fire Door Never Leave Open" by the Weakerthans, I see a graphic for Left and Leaving , the album that it comes from (and available in the iTunes Music Store), along with a list of the Weakerthans' other albums,