How to be a professional

In the spirit of this excellent site, I offer a few things about how to be a professional in the workplace.

Don't talk to your co-workers like they're your childhood friends. Also, don't talk to them like they're five years old and have learning deficiencies.
There are many different ways to communicate with adults. These extremes are not the only ways.

Know the difference between a "crisis" and a crisis.
A true crisis can involve a loved one in a serious accident and needs to be attended to right away. A "crisis" is when you can't find your favorite kind of socks.

You do less with less.
Still waiting to hear about how a workplace benefits from doing more workload with less people? You're not alone.

Don't say, "You're only human," and then berate someone for being human.
Humans make mistakes. Remember this and say this to yourself.

If you say you're coming in early tomorrow to help out, that means you're coming in early to help out.
That doesn't mean you take most of the morning off and act like nothing of great significance was said yesterday.

If you act like a brat, don't expect to be treated like an adult.
And if you continue to act like a brat, expect to be left out of the loop on most things.

Don't spend ten minutes telling someone one request over and over again.
The average adult hears you the first time and the 111th time.

The Serenity Prayer doesn't just help recovering addicts.
Knowing the difference between what you can and cannot change is vital, even in the workplace.