Skip to main content

To share

I think the kind of relationship advice Tasha gives in this week's Ask the AV Club is something I don't hear enough. Aside from what Leah says in her column and podcast (and what wisdom Jason passes my way), too often I hear fluffy cliches that are too vanilla. Even worse, I hear advice saying you should initially present yourself to someone in a slightly false light. So when I read a passage like this, I wish those bland advice-givers would take a few notes:
Don't be an asshole. Having strongly held, precisely detailed opinions on Yasujiro Ozu or Badly Drawn Boy or Brian Michael Bendis isn't the problem. Forcing them on people who didn't ask, or sneering at those who disagree or don't care, is a problem . . . And stop thinking that being a geek is a bad thing in and of itself. It isn't, and it certainly isn't a relationship deal-killer. Being an unsocialized jerk is the problem.

Like I was once told in a pseudo-intervention (and still agree with), embrace your weirdness. Yes, I might have eccentric music tastes, but I try to steer clear of forcefully converting those who don't. I might gently give friends a hard time from time to time, but I've been at the receiving end of flak from unsocialized and unloved jerks, so I don't want to become the problem.

If anything, my weakness has been the fear of sharing my eccentricities. Despite speaking openly about them on this here blog, I find them harder to share in person beyond the closest of friends and family. Too often I've thought sharing them with people not so close leads to an expression of disapproval and eventual abandonment. I'm compelled to save someone who hates Scott Walker's music the pain of having to listen to it in the car by not playing his music. I'm compelled to not play my drums for too long in the presence of those who can't stand drumming. Maybe I'm just being overly courteous or cautious.

I will say this, I've learned that I shouldn't feel ashamed because I'm happy the theatrical version of Blade Runner is airing on the Sci-Fi channel. I think that's a good start.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Catherine Wheel

Originally posted: Tuesday, August 29th, 2006 Despite managing to release five proper albums, Catherine Wheel was one of those bands that always seemed to slip past the mainstream rock crowd. Yes, they got some nice airplay in their day, but people seem to have forgotten about them. You may hear “Black Metallic” or “Waydown” on a “classic alternative” show on Sirius or XM or maybe even on terrestrial radio, but that’s about it. For me, they were one of most consistent rock bands of the ’90s, meandering through shoegazer, hard rock, space rock and pop rock, all while eluding mainstream pigeonholing. Led by the smooth, warm pipes of vocalist/guitarist Rob Dickinson (cousin of Iron Maiden’s Bruce Dickinson), Catherine Wheel featured Brian Futter on lead guitar, Dave Hawes on bass and Neil Sims on drums. They weren’t a pretty-boy guitar band, but they weren’t a scuzzy bunch of ragamuffins either. Though the band hailed from England, Catherine Wheel found itself more welcome on American air

Best of 2021

  Last year, my attention span was not wide enough to listen to a lot of LPs from start to finish. Too much went on in 2020 to focus on 10-15 albums, so I went with only a couple to spotlight. Well, 2021 was a little better, as I have a list of top four records, and a lot of individual tracks.  (I made a lengthy Spotify playlist ) So, without further ado, here’s my list of favorites of the year: Albums Deafheaven, Infinite Granite (listen) Hands down, my favorite album of the year. I was not sure where Deafheaven would go after another record that brought My Bloody Valentine and death metal fans together, but they beautifully rebooted their sound on Infinite Granite. The divisive goblin vocals are vastly pared-down here, as are the blast beats. Sounding more inspired by Slowdive, the band has discovered a new sonic palette that I hope they explore more of in the future. It’s a welcome revelation. I still love their older material, but this has renewed my love of what these guys do.  J