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What Might Have Been

Though I often worry about what might happen in the future, I'm not someone who really thinks about what might have been. In other words, I don't often wonder or dwell on what might have happened if I stayed in a band longer, if I decided to go to a different college, or if me and this certain girl became a couple. Like how I feel about nostalgia, thinking about what might have been often sheds the context of the past, making things seem more black and white in retrospect. And that's not really a good thing.

The few times that I've thought about the bands I was fired from, I took the firings as a relief from more drama that was to come. All of the bands encountered major drama after I left not because I left, but due to problems that were already there when I was in the band. That stuff really came to a head and I'm thankful I was spared from any more than I already dealt with.

In the case of college selection, just a few days in Lubbock a few years ago made me realize that I made the right choice in going to TCU in Fort Worth. Even though most of my family went to Texas Tech, I found TCU way more appealing. That decision is something that impacts me every single day I live in the Dallas/Fort Worth area, and I do not regret choosing TCU over Texas Tech.

And in the case of possible relationships, I find not really knowing what could have happened much more easier to deal with than the memory of a bad relationship. I know people say experience is experience, but I argue that I cannot deal with the guilt and shame that comes with a relationship that went really awry.

Thinking about all of this now, it's strange how much time I put into thinking about what might happen because I do or don't do this or that. The past can't be changed, so why think that thinking about what might have been is going to make the present any better?


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