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The Zombie Season

My aunt recently sent me a column called, "Rules to live by for a lifetime." It was a lengthy list with many great observations on life written by someone who had lived a very long life. Some of the rules were, "However good or bad a situation is, it will change" and "Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does."

I agree with many of these "rules," but one of the ones I really took was this one: "Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'" I completely agree with that one, but I take that many steps further: if we had a zombie apocalypse, will this matter?

Before I start sounding like Winnie the Pooh's friend Eeyore tripping on LSD, I completely agree with the original statement. Too often, I can't seem to recall what I was mad about in the past, but I can remember being mad about something or scared of a potential crisis. And I'm talking about stuff that happened weeks ago. What happened five years ago? Jeez, I remember very little about the cause(s) of crises and potential disasters.

But back to the zombie apocalypse: would it really matter that my Internet connection was sporadically going in and out for a good month after I got my new computer? Would a bunch of gray clouds and windy weather scare me to stay inside? And would it really matter that it hurt to have a couple of stitches on my right hand for two weeks after mole removal surgery?

The answer is, of course, absolutely not. If we were trying to survive random attacks by blood-thirsty, brain-munching zombies, a lot of our everyday lives would not be that important. That's not to say that there aren't important things in a world that isn't overrun by zombies. I just like to remind people that there are much bigger things in life and much more memorable things to think about. Much more than how crazy this one boss was or how a friend took a Facebook status update way too personally.

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